The Kids Are Alright...Right?

I've read two blog posts today that have me thinking about my son's personal safety. One was written by Lenore Skenazy at her blog, Free Range Kids. She wrote about her 10-year-old-son's train ride that ended with police, a train conductor, and Lenore trying to come to to terms with the fact that the boy had just taken a train ride—gasp!—all alone. The other was over at Strollerderby and was about one mother's confidence in her sons' ownership of pocket knives. Knives that could come in handy if the boys ever found themselves in a tussle with an adult who means to harm them. Yikes. 

Lenore has written before about her child's adventures in freedom. You may have read her widely-covered article about her son negotiating New York public transportation to find his way home from a retail store. Parents all over the country cried foul as they vilified her for trusting her son to recall what he'd been taught about personal safety and danger avoidance. 

My husband and I discussed the article for some time, he more ready to cheer and I more ready to simmer in skepticism. And this is interesting because he grew up fairly sheltered in a small California town, while I ran around Cincinnati taking the bus from morning till night. So why am I so reluctant to nurture the same independence in my own son? Well, given that he's only six, I'm pretty sure I don't need to teach him the bus routes to downtown Minneapolis just yet, but there will come a time that I'll need to let go. We only recently gave him an errand to do on his own, delivering an envelope to a neighbor's house on the next block. He was so proud when he returned, and I was too, as I breathed a sigh of relief. I know it's time for more miniature outings for my son. 

Sooner than I'd like to admit Henry will be asking to go to our nearby grocery store, drug store, or McDonald's, to spend some of his allowance. And why shouldn't he? When I was just a few years older than he is now I visited our local Kroger's at all times of the day and night. I shopped at the drug store and ate at the restaurants and ice cream shops and went to $1 movies at the local theater. I did this without my parents, or even my big sister. I walked blocks and blocks to and from the bus stops and I ran around downtown like it was my backyard. 

Am I a hypocrite? I feel like one. I want to say without hesitation that I'll encourage my son to try his wings and let him develop street smarts of his own. I want to say that I'll happily send him off to the bus stop or the light rail station. I want to declare with certainty that my son will make good decisions because I've taught him well. Will I give him a pocket knife? Probably not. It's just not something that's been done in my family. But the fact that a child might actually need a knife to fend off the boogie man someday? That's going to keep me up nights.